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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

1-18 leftover pizza

1-18 leftover pizza

yesterday i had leftover pizza for lunch. and a cherry coke. i don’t remember the last time i had a cherry coke. it was pretty good.

today, i had another check-up at the doctor’s. the baby’s growing—every time i stand on the scale and try not to look, i can tell that at least one of us is getting bigger, if not both … the baby’s heart is beating—this was the first time that the doctor didn’t need to wait for it to stop squirming to get its heartbeat. maybe the wiggly one is catching on. or maybe it was just tired from ALL the moving it did yesterday. either way, everything is good.

9 more weeks.

everything has really slipped by so fast. i remember the summer and the signs of pregnancy. i remember fall and the appearance of a belly. and now it’s winter. spring is just around the corner, and with it will be changes i still can only pretend to be able to comprehend. it’s exciting and scary at the same time.

there’s some sense of security while this little one is still inside, but once it’s born, everything is really going to change around here.

and it’ll never be the same.

i keep having to tell myself that. there is no going back. only forward, regardless of whether the path looks difficult. it’s going to be okay because every footstep has been walked ahead of time by the Lord. He already knows where we’re headed—hubby and me and now baby A or baby E. sometimes, it’s hard to sit back and trust that when work is stressful or hubby is frustrated with his grad school classes or time to finish preparing for the baby seems so short. however, the trust is still there. the faith that’s begun to kindle again instead of smolder uselessly.

it’ll never be the same, and that’s okay.


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