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21 weeks

Friday, November 13, 2009

21 weeks

well, here i am at the end of 21 weeks. feeling huge (despite the fact that my backside sticks out farther than my belly still), and not really feeling that second trimester “curvy beauty” that my pregnancy books keep promising me. i was that “curvy” before pregnancy, now i just have a baby belly to go along with all the parts of my body i didn’t like to begin with. i’ve already mentioned how this getting bigger part is hard for me, how i struggle enough as it is with the fact that i’ve gained 13-15 pounds (which is normal) and still have half my pregnancy left.

does it really go away?

oh gosh, i hope so. i don’t want to keep any weight on afterward. in fact, i’d be content to lose more than i gain when it’s all said and done.

ah, but see … here’s my insecurity talking here. gosh, i wish i had some semblance of a self esteem sometimes. i really do. it was gone by college, i think. i miss it. i used to feel pretty. i mean, don’t get me wrong, being pregnant is fun and i don’t feel like i should be hiding in a cave or anything … but sometimes when i catch glimpses of myself in the mirror, i still cringe.

sigh.

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2 Comments
  1. homebird2 permalink
    Tuesday, November 17, 2009 5:29 pm

    I meant to say that I LOVE the green color of this shirt! 🙂

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